The Secret Property of Ashwinder Eggs
by spinningthroughthevortex
Summary: How long can you really justify blaming your reactions on a potions accident?
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor does he own me._

* * *

Hogwarts castle was dark and silent as Hermione surreptitiously exited the kitchens with a handful of treats. She let out a muffled shriek, spewing buscuit crumbs as she bumped into something solid – and invisible.

"Ssh." The invisible object hissed.

"Harry? What are you doing here?"

"The same as you, I expect. Couldn't sleep. Nightmares, again. " He whispered.

She put a hand on his invisible shoulder in solidarity. "So you came down for a 2 am snack?"

He shushed her again. "Quiet – I heard footsteps a minute ago."

His warning had come too late, as the imposing figure of professor Snape billowed towards them.

They were not exactly students, but not quite apprentices either. They had access to the entire library, studied mostly on their own, and met with a different professor for an hour each day for any necessary tutoring. Professors often requested their help in the classroom. Technically there were still bound by school rules such as curfew, but most professors tended to look the other way, knowing these students were not children anymore. They had lived through a war – fought in the war – and they deserved some leeway.

Snape looked at her, since Harry was conveniently still under his Cloak.

"Detention, Miss Granger. Tonight. 7 p.m. Wear protective clothing." He sneered.

Hermione just sighed as he strode away. "You'd think after helping nurse him back to health, then spending the next two months rebuilding the castle together he'd be a bit less of a bastard."

"Yeah - y'know, when we thought he was evil, his nastiness was expected. Now it just bothers me even more." Harry mused.

"I suppose after playing a role for twenty years, that persona comes naturally, even after it is no longer necessary. I do wonder who he could have been, had things played out differently. Perhaps I'm just too forgiving?"

Harry snorted something that sounded like "Umbridge!".

* * *

As usual, the Potions classroom was dimly lit and poorly heated. "_No wonder Snape is always wearing so many layers"_, she thought to herself as she entered, then corrected herself. "_Professor Snape, I mean._"

With that thought, the man himself appeared. "You will be sorting the Potions store-room today. I do believe it has been sorely neglected for the past two years, and some of the supplies have expired. There are also a number of unlabelled potions. You will deal with them accordingly." At that, he sat down at his desk and started disfiguring essays with angry red quill marks. "What are you waiting for, the marching band to announce your arrival?"

Rolling her eyes, but still pleasantly surprised that she had been allowed to keep her wand, Hermione quickly made her way through the storage room. A quick _Evanesco_ took care of the spoiled ingredients, and most of the unlabelled potions were simple first-year brews that she could identify in her sleep. She slapped a 'Babbling Beverage' label on a flask and reached back to grab the next one. She frowned. This potion was an unusual sparkling violet. She popped the cork and took a tentative sniff. It definitely contained Ashwinder eggs, but she couldn't quite discern the other ingredients. She made her way over to her professor, who was now fully engrossed in a giant grimoire.

"Professor? I can't seem to..."

She was cut off as Severus, nerves still highly strung from decades of espionage, torture and duelling, displayed his excellent reflexes with a silent Expelliarmus. Her wand flew out of her sleeve, loosening her grip on the potion flask. Hermione tried to snatch her wand back, but succeeded only in dropping the flask, which proceeded to plummet towards the corner of the desk, crack, and explode in a cloud of steam and broken glass - all over the two accidental combatants.

"Granger!" Severus hissed. "What, by Merlin's left testicle have you done?" He brushed bits of glass off his robes.

"I was just coming to ask for your help in identifying this potion!" Hermione retorted. "You didn't need to disarm me!"

Severus suddenly felt a warmth rush through his body, and a fog descend on his mind. He looked up in panic at Miss Granger, and froze. She was glorious. Fierce, with an earthy natural beauty. His arms ached to embrace her.

Hermione's pupils had dilated, and she was gazing at her professor as if he were a steak and she was starving. The miniscule portion of his mind not enraptured by her forced him to concentrate on what potion he had been exposed to. He gingerly picked up one of the glass shards, holding it close to his discerning nose.

* * *

"Amatorium Claritas. Slughorn, you bloody fool!" He bellowed. Hermione stroked his hand, unable to prevent herself from attempting to soothe him. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, before turning suddenly in a giant billow of robes and pacing quickly to the other side of the room. His eyes shut and a crease appeared on his forehead as he called forth every ounce of occlumency he could muster in his compromised condition.

"Miss Granger. What are the properties of Amatorium Claritas? Be thorough."

She stood up straight at his professorial tone, and started speaking automatically.

"Amatorium Claritas is a fourth-level restricted potion, meaning it is legal but requires permission from the Ministry to brew or purchase. Though what valid reason anyone could possibly have for obtaining a potion that is virtually _imperio_ in a bottle... I mean, the whole idea of love potions in general..." She digressed, seemingly unable to control her tongue.

"Focus!" He snapped.

"Fine. The potion causes the drinker to obsess over the first person they see after imbibing it. They see said individual in the most favourable light possible. It has strong aphrodisiac qualities as well. The compulsion to be in physical contact with the target is almost overwhelming." At this, she stepped towards him.

"Be still!" He commanded. She stopped, castigating herself mentally. She was stronger than this.

"This potion is the one the previous King of Swaziland - Sobhuza II – used to keep his 125 wives in line. Continuous exposure over an extended amount of time can cause apathy and dull-wittedness. Though I suspect King Sobhuza would not have cared a whit if his wives were drooling idiots."

Severus relaxed at the melodious tone of her voice. Such a knowledgeable witch. Kind of heart, but with a good grasp of sarcasm and a ruthless streak that could almost match his own. Formidable. He made his way towards her...

"Sir!" Her exclamation broke him out of his trance. He had reached her, but with an enormous strength of will, prevented himself from reaching out to stroke her smooth face, or run his fingers through her spectacularly horrid vivacious hair.

The recitation of knowledge had cleared Hermione's head a bit, so she continued.

"The potion is effective for approximately ninety minutes when taken orally. I don't know the effects of an, er, spilled cauldron."

"Absorption through the skin should cause the potion to take effect more quickly, but be less potent and have a shorter duration. The effects are already weakening. I estimate we likely have another twenty minutes in which to restrain ourselves from molesting one another, then we should return to normal."

"Would it be easier if we were separated?" Hermione really didn't like this option, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

"Possibly. But there is no way I'm letting you out of my sight to sing my praises to your dimwitted Gryffindor friends. You 're staying here where I can keep an eye on you." _And gaze upon your radiant beauty,_ he did not say, and barely allowed himself to think.

With sudden inspiration, he turned as if to apparate and strode quickly into the store room, exiting a minute later with a flask in hand.

"Here, Miss Granger. This won't counter the effects entirely, but it should distract us enough to make the next twenty minutes easier. He downed half, and handed it to her.

"Befuddlement Draught, sir? " Hermione asked bemusedly, then shrugged and quaffed the remainder.

* * *

Hermione had never had any desire to do drugs; she was a sensible girl. But she imagined this is what an LSD trip must feel like. The world shrunk and became a surreal bubble surrounding her.

"Your eyeballs are so round." She proclaimed. "And black. Like your robes. They make you look like the Count." She was imagining Dracula, but Severus interrupted her. "One! Mwa ha ha ha. Two!..." He pulled her into an impromptu salsa dance.

Hermione broke away and burst into hysterical giggles. "Y—You're a muppet! A Muggle Muppet. Mugglet." She stroked his shiny hair. "My shiny Mugglet." He took off his shoes and wiggled his toes. "My toes are moving." He mused.

Hermione replied, relatively soberly. " that's 'cause you are moving them. You are the master of your toes. A toes-shuns master." At that, they both burst into laughter.

"Poff – Profsh – "

"Name's Severus. Use that one. Nicer."

"Then call me Hermione."

"Hermy."

" You call me that and I"ll call you Sevvy." She was drawing faces which looked like they were in various stages of torture on his toenails. He swatted ineffectually at her and ended up stroking her nose.

"I'm sure my nose is very jealous of yours." He whispered to her, as if divulging a great secret.

Hermione laughed so hard she had to sit down on the floor. Severus simply smiled adoringly at her.

* * *

Twenty minutes later found them still giggling sporadically, sitting side by side against the wall and leaning into one another.

"I think the befuddlement draught is wearing off." Severus said, finally somewhat sober.

"I still think your fingers are beautiful."

He frowned at the apparent non-sequitur. "I mean the other potion can't have worn off yet. I'm still terribly attracted to you." She clarified.

He studied her face. "I'm no longer feeling any compulsions to attack your person, and my mind has cleared. However, the thought of kissing you is still invading my mind. Perhaps we ought to sleep on it." He noticed her eyes widen. "Separately."

"Agreed, sir. May I return tomorrow morning so that we can ensure we're back to normal?"

"Tomorrow is Saturday. You may come to my office after breakfast. You are dismissed. Goodnight, Miss Granger."

"'Night, Sir."

* * *

Hermione woke up the next morning in a very cheerful mood. The sun was out, birds were chirping, and colours seemed brighter than usual. The usual nightmares had not occurred – instead, he had dreamed of a smooth, silky voice talking and laughing with her, stroking her hair, making her feel...

Oh shite.

When she arrived at the door to Professor Snape's office, she faltered only a few seconds before gathering her courage and knocking.

"Enter." Oh, his voice sent shivers down her spine. As she walked through the door, he stood to meet her, his fathomless black eyes meeting hers.

"Miss Granger. Has your situation... remedied itself?"

"Not as such, sir. The intensity and lack of control is gone, but... "

"I must apologize for my behaviour yesterday. I had not anticipated the reaction the Amatorium Claritas would have on the Befuddlement Draught. While the latter did serve its purpose, it did rather... intoxicate us."

Hermione snorted. If she could figure out how to record memories in a Pensieve, she'd have some great blackmail material. Severus Snape mimicking a muggle children's television character? Priceless. "Are you fully recovered, then?"

He paused. "As you say, the intensity and lack of control is no longer an issue. However, the ... attraction ... has not abated. You are my student , and this feeling is potion-induced. It is an untenable situation. We must inform the Headmistress, then perhaps Madam Pomfrey or St. Mungo's can have a cure prepared. I do not trust myself in creating one as I would undoubtedly sabotage myself."

Hermione's heart sank, even as she intellectually agreed. "Would you kiss me, once, before we go?"

Severus looked longingly at her lips before he caught himself. "I will not, Hermione. You will hate me again as you did before, once you are in your right mind, and I could not bear it."

Hermione nodded then turned away, blinking rapidly. She did not bother to correct him.

* * *

Headmistress McGonagall looked from her Potions professor to her prized student. "So you are saying that this Amatorium Claritas has failed to wear off, and you would like to be excused for the next week to seek medical help?" Severus gave a curt nod. Minerva sighed. "Severus, I can give you two days. After that, I'm sure Poppy will suffice, once she has consulted with the Healers at St. Mungo's. Hermione, you could take your NEWTs at any time, so you can have as long as you need.

A cough sounded from the opposite wall.

"May I help you, Albus?" Minerva sounded resigned.

The portrait twinkled. "Hermione, when do you think you'll be ready for your NEWTs?"

"I'll need three more weeks to finish revising the seventh-year curriculum, then I should be confident enough to give them a go. Why do you ask, Headmaster?"

"No reason, no reason." He twinkled. "Just promise me that you'll come see me once you're done. And bring Severus along. We should all have a chat, I think."

Hermione only nodded once.

* * *

Severus watched as the nine eighth-year students filed out of his classroom, then rested his head on his desk. Miss Granger – Hermione – had been the epitome of a dutiful and respectful student, but he could see in her posture, in the sadness and longing of her eyes when she regarded him – that she had no more been cured than he had. The myriads of potions they had downed at St. Mungo's had effected absolutely no change. Madam Pomfrey had continued to monitor them both, and neither displayed any additional effects, so she had eventually declared them both healthy and shooed them away. They both took care to avoid one another except when necessary, and his heart felt as if it were shrivelling up from lack of contact. He had experienced enough unrequited love for one lifetime – not that this was unrequited, exactly, but potion-induced was even worse in a way. He sighed, and turned to his marking.

* * *

Hermione mentally reviewed her answers for the last test she had taken. She was quite confident she had managed at least an 'E', but...

She barely avoided running into a tall, dark figure.

"Professor!"

"Miss Granger. I understand are taking your exams?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir. I just had Arithmancy. It was the final one."

"Then congratulations are in order." His mouth twitched at the corner. She smiled back. "Sir, I believe Headmaster Dumbledore wished us to speak with his portrait, once my exams were done. Would you like to accompany me?"

"I am available now, if you would like. And as I am no longer your professor, I suppose you may call me Severus even while not intoxicated."

"And Sevvy?"

"Only if you desire to experience my permanent tonsil-engorgement curse first hand."

"Understood. Severus."

* * *

"Severus. Hermione. How lovely to see you both!"

Severus grunted. "Headmaster, you wished to see us?"

"I understand Miss Granger has completed her NEWTs?"

"I have," Hermione replied. "...but why did you want to see us?"

She had a sneaking suspicion, but did not dare voice it aloud.

"I just have a few questions for both of you. Firstly, have either of you been unable to concentrate on your duties since the potion incident?" They both frowned, and shook their heads.

"No," Severus stated. "While my mind has been prone to... wandering... while idle, I have no difficulty concentrating."

"Have your interactions with others changed?"

"Not as far as I can tell. Except, of course, in relation to each other." Hermione replied. Severus just nodded.

"And the Healers have cleared you and given you all possible antidotes?"

They nodded.

"Did either of you harbour any feelings towards the other before the incident?"

Hermione blushed. "Not like that, sir! I admired the Professor's steadfastness and intellect, and perhaps wondered about what lay behind the Death Eater persona he has hidden behind for so long, but never... romantically."

Severus stared at her. "I was under the impression all the students hated me."

She looked sadly at him. "I never hated you. I was furious with you after ... " She sent a surreptitious glance towards the portrait. "... you know. I was frustrated with you when you denigrated us in class. But I knew you had other roles to play, that I wasn't privy to all the information. I never hated you." She reiterated.

Severus was taken aback, but the erstwhile Headmaster interrupted. "And you, Severus?"

"Miss Granger was an irritating little swot as a child, but she grew into a woman deserving of respect. Without her, the Boy-who-lived-to-be-a-pain-in-my-backside would never have made it to the Final Battle. I admired her courage and fire. But that is all!"

Albus smiled at him. "Well, mutual respect is a fine foundation. Sometimes love just needs a little push. Your potions accident was just that – a push. I'm quite confident that the effects wore off naturally within an hour of exposure. Everything since then has been quite real. Love cannot be produced artificially – these so-called love potions can only mimic an inferior mixture of lust and obsession. "

Hermione was frozen. She had suspected as much, but had not dared voice her hypothesis. Severus, on the other hand, denied the possibility vehemently.

"That is utterly and completely impossible, Albus."

"You don't think you could ever have come to love the most intelligent, courageous witch of the age?"

"Don't be deliberately obtuse. What self-respecting young woman could possibly want anything to do with a bitter old ugly ex-death eater?"

"I'm certain she can see past that facade, Severus."

"_She_ is right here and can speak for herself, thank you very much. Now you –" she pointed at the portrait, "can stop being such an interfering old coot. And you –" she poked Severus in the chest, "can shut up and listen. You spent less than two years as a Death Eater, and suffered through the next seventeen years enduring torture and worse to atone for your sins. Without you we would most certainly have lost. You are a hero. You are one of the most intelligent men I have ever met. And I certainly don't think you're ugly. Perhaps not classically handsome, but you have a gravitas that many would envy. "

The portrait of Albus Dumbledore smiled widely.

She turned towards the door, looking back only once. "Now, we are both adults here. I am no longer a student. I'm willing to see where this leads, if you are."

"What, the brightest witch of her age, tied down to her greasy professor right after school?" He scoffed. "I was under the impression you had somewhat more lofty career plans!"

"Come now, Severus. That wasn't a proposal. But surely you have heard of owl post? Or even apparition? Wizarding University is not Azkaban."

He followed her out the door, walking away from the portrait without a word. "I may be amenable to correspondence." He said quietly, once the door was closed behind them. "But I will not hold you to anything. You are young, yet."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "We shall see." She was a tenacious Gryffindor. She would sway him, eventually.

* * *

A/N Well, should I leave it here? Or does it need more?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, all the kind reviews have convinced me to continue. Thank you all! However, I apparently could not manage to extend it without inserting some sort of plot. The characters demanded it.**

* * *

"So how is Academia treating you?"

Hermione polished off the last bit of curry on her plate, and looked over at her lunch date.

"Wonderful!" She smiled broadly. "The classes are amazing! Did you know the Arithmancy department has an actual Formula Foundry? It's linked directly into the ley lines! And did I tell you I'm minoring in Law? Every Thursday I get to attend Wizengamot meetings and act as an aide in the Department of Rules and Regulations! "

Harry smiled back. "Well, once you're done you can bring SPEW to the next level, with no legal loopholes. "

Hermione swatted his arm. She had missed bantering with her best friend.

"Ginny is visiting this weekend. Would you like to come over for dinner?"

"Actually, I have a date tonight."

"Really? You never told me you were seeing anyone. Or are you back together with Ron?"

"Ron?" Hermione snorted. "What, because I had a little crush on him in fourth year and snogged him in the heat of the moment in the middle of a bloody battle?"

Harry simply raised an eyebrow.

"No, Harry. I nipped that in the bud after he attempted to convince me to 'console' him after Fred's funeral. I mean really, can you imagine me popping out red-haired children and cooking for him while he drones on about Quidditch all the time? You're the only thing we ever had in common. Besides, he left us, remember? I could never trust him properly after that."

"Well then spill. Who's the lucky fellow?"

"First you need to promise me you won't over-react."

"Blimey, Hermione, who could it be that would require that? Please tell me it's not Malfoy."

"Which Malfoy?" Hermione couldn't resist, as she tapped her wand to the grotesque Gringotts effigy to pay for their lunch.

"You're joking. Please tell me you're joking. "

"I'm joking."

"Really?"

"Yes. It's really Severus Snape."

Harry froze, then stared intensely at her. Finally, he shrugged. "I see what you just did there. After Malfoy Sr. with his pimp cane, the dungeon bat doesn't look so bad. Clever."

Hermione patted him on the head. "You are learning, my young Padawan. Soon you will be a Jedi."

Harry waved his hand to open the door for them, Jedi-style. Hermione just laughed.

"So, how in Merlin's name did you ever land a _date_ with Severus Snape, Super Spy, Potions Master, Order of Merlin First Class, otherwise known as the Hated Greasy Bat of the Dungeons?" Harry could not contain his curiosity as they walked towards the Apparition point.

Hermione summarized the fiasco with as few words as possible. "Potions Accident. We both got dosed with a love potion, fought it off, accidentally got high, and found, when it all wore off, we were still rather fond of one another."

"What? So you do some potions bonding with him and suddenly you're in love with him? That sounds rather suspicious."

Hermione sighed. "I never said I'm in love with him. But I do like him, and yes, we both spent days in St. Mungo's to ensure we were clear of any potions. We're still getting to know one another as equals."

"What do your parents think?"

Hermione glared at him. Her parents were a sore spot for her – they had opted to remain in Australia after she restored their memories. They had forgiven her, mostly, but could not bring themselves to trust her so easily. Their relationship was still a bit strained.

"Mum was concerned about the age difference. I told her that when I'm 150 and he's 169 nobody will be able to tell. Besides, no offense but boys my age still act like spotty teenagers."

"None taken. He smirked at her. "So you're thinking long-term, are you? Are those wedding bells I hear in the distance? Should I be purchasing tiny black robes with lots of buttons?"

"Oh, sod off." Hermione's mouth twitched as she attempted to subdue a smile. "That's a bit presumptuous. He hasn't even kissed me yet. " She sobered. They had exchanged friendly letters, but she had not been in his actual presence since she left Hogwarts, and was not entirely sure where they stood.

Suddenly, a buzzing sound emanated from Harry's left pocket. He withdrew a silver spherical object, and squinted at the small writing coiled around it.

"I've got to go to the office. There's been another Inferi attack!" He sounded far too gleeful for such a dark occurrence. "Good luck tonight!" He winked at her.

"I'm hoping I can use my wits and charm, not rely on luck." Hermione retorted. "Have fun with your Inferi. Do let me know if I need to prepare for a zombie apocalypse."

Harry grinned. "Braaaains." He moaned dramatically, as he apparated back to the Auror office, two blocks away.

* * *

Severus Snape quickly wrote out instructions for the young Potions professor Minerva had finally found, after Severus had vehemently stated that he had agreed to come back for one more year, and no longer. Petronius Pontmercy was currently teaching the younger years and assisting the NEWT classes. He was young and looked like the love-child of Gilderoy Lockhart and Narcissa Malfoy, but he was surprisingly competent, so Severus felt no guilt at the thought of leaving the Hogwarts potions curriculum in his hands next school year.

Looking in the mirror, Severus frowned. He had actually put some effort into his appearance since the war ended, but the results were discouraging. Straight teeth did not make his nose less prominent. He had used shampoo geared towards individuals like himself with overactive sebaceous glands, and his hair had consequently decided to absorb copious amounts of static electricity from the environment and extrude in all directions. He tied it back with a frown. Constantly having to work with that Adonis of a Pontmercy prat was not helping his self image.

He sighed. Every so often he would decide that a... dalliance... with Hermione was a ridiculous notion. But every time, just before he put pen to paper to inform her of this, something would change his mind. A few weeks after she left Hogwarts, he was feeling particularly undeserving in the Three Broomsticks when two underdressed young ladies had approached him flirtatiously, praising his accomplishments. It took him ten minutes to extricate himself, all the while feeling only revulsion for the empty headed ninnies attempting to get close to his fame, and wishing for intelligent brown eyes and horrid hair instead of the vacant blue and perfect coiffure.

His second lapse was interrupted by the delivery of his _Innovations en sorcellerie_ magazine, featuring the analysis of certain arithmantic equations during the potion-creating process he had assisted Hermione with. He opened it to her article, and felt a rush of affection and... worthiness... as he read.

"_Dedicated to Severus Snape, whose input, assistance and pure brilliance allowed my conjectures to transform into certifiable results_."

He was doomed.

* * *

Hermione's nervousness had reached epic levels as she approached the restaurant. She had spent far too long deciding what to wear and experimenting with beauty charms in a futile attempt to tame her wild hair into a semblance of order.

She entered the restaurant to find him already seated at a table for two.

The moment she saw him, all fear and nerves dissipated. She had faced death with this man. She had seen him shed all barriers and imitate a Muppet, for Merlin's sake. She had watched him as he was clinically dead for two minutes, before the potions she had shoved down his throat took effect. For some reason, that seemed far more intimate than any physical encounter could possibly be.

"Hello, Severus." Hermione slid across from him. "How is Hogwarts?" She asked inanely.

"I have left my duties in the capable hands of Pontmercy the Prat." He said smoothly.

As they discussed their respective lives, Hermione was astonished to discover how easily their conversation flowed, and how their exclusively epistolary relationship of the past few months translated seamlessly into real life.

She placed her hand atop his, and they both froze. The restaurant around them had faded. Time stopped, and she was aware only of him. His hand, tingling in hers. It felt as if something intangible of his was melding with her, and in that perfect moment of clarity they were the only two beings in existence.

The waiter arrived with their food, and the moment was broken. The feeling of euphoria, however, remained.

Severus looked at his food contemplatively. He had never put much stock in romantic twaddle. Angels singing and the earth moving was a fantasy, not something that real people experienced. And yet how else could he describe such an intense moment? He had not had time for romance as a spy, and honestly had no inclination for it for the decade after Lily died. And when she was alive, he had only been able to see her.

He took a bite, then looked over at Hermione. Still so young, but matured beyond her years by the trials of war. Surely she deserved to be able to make her own decisions, and if what she really wanted was a jaded old ugly man almost twice her age, who was he to argue?.

He pointed he wand at her head and muttered "Finite." Hermione gaped at him. "What was that for?"

"You looked far too..." He paused, trying to select the correct word, then eventually gave up. "Nice. I prefer your hair to be horrid." He then ran his hand down one of her escaping curls.

"You know, odd as it is, I think that might just be the most honest, and therefore most touching compliment I have ever received." Hermione said softly.

"I promise not to make a habit of it." His face was slowly moving towards hers. She closed her eyes, ready to meet his lips for their first kiss.

A sudden flap of wings appeared between their faces, causing them both to jump away. The other restaurant patrons stared in confusion as an owl screeched, dropped some parchment into the soup, then flew out through the open window.

"Damn the Ministry. Can't they find a more discreet method of communication in Muggle areas?" Severus fumed as he unrolled the dripping parchment.

"Apparently there has been suspected Death Eater activity recently. The Auror office 'requests' my presence post haste. I suppose they mean to interrogate me."

"Is this about the Inferi attacks?"

"Inferi?" Severus looked concerned.

"I met with Harry this afternoon. He was called back to deal with an Inferi attack. It was not the first one."

Severus sighed. "I had better talk to Potter before submitting myself to the Ministry. If they're going to conscript me into tracking Dark Wizards, I need all the information I can get as leverage."

Hermione nodded sadly. This was not at all how she had wanted her evening to go. But all was not lost – she was certain he had been about to kiss her. She surreptitiously conjured a thermally unconducive container and transferred the remaining food, while he paid the bill. No point wasting a meal.

* * *

"Can we come through?" Hermione's voice emerged from the fireplace at Grimmauld Place. Ginny looked surprised. "Harry said you had a date, so we didn't save you any dinner. Come through. Is everything alright?"

Hermione stepped through the Floo and dusted the soot off her skirt as Severus exited behind her.

"Miss Weasley. I hope you are well." He nodded politely.

Ginny's eyes widened, but simply responded. "Fine, Professor. And you?"

Harry's voice came from the stairs.

"The bath is poured. I found the candles and romantic bubble stuff you like. Can you please bring up the champagne..." He petered off as he noticed the guests. "Er..."

"Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Potter, but I must sadly decline. I have already bathed today." Severus deadpanned. Hermione snorted, while Ginny muffled a giggle and Harry's face turned beet red.

"Sorry, S.. Professor Snape. I, er, did not know you were here. Welcome to my... house." He stuttered.

"You are no longer my student, Mr. Potter. You may call me Severus." He narrowed his eyes at Ginny. "As for you, I am curious how you managed to leave school for a weekend with your paramour," Ginny blushed. "...but right now we have more important matters. May we sit?"

Ginny nodded, looking a bit pale. Severus sat down beside Hermione, who had not bothered to wait for an invitation and had already made herself comfortable.

"Mr. Potter, I understand you are involved in the Auror's investigation regarding an Inferi attack?"

"Yes sir, um, Severus. And call me Harry. Please." He paused. "Um, the Auror department is a bit thin since so many perished in the battle at Hogwarts, so they called in us trainees to help out."

"They have requested that I join the team, as it were." Severus glanced at Hermione as she took her hand in his and squeezed. A wave of... euphoria ... overtook him. "Can you disclose in detail all the information you have?"

As Harry went over the details with Severus, Hermione withdrew to procure pen and paper, grateful that Harry, muggle-raised as he was, also preferred the more sensible implements. She began the Arithmantic calculations, adding variables as Harry divulged more information.

"Severus, do you know of any Death Eaters or sympathizers that escaped Azkaban?" Hermione asked, once Harry was finished.

"Only Draco, and he's so busy with community service and keeping his nose clean it's extremely unlikely he's involved."

"So we're looking for a Dark witch or wizard unaffiliated with Tom Riddle, who is powerful enough to create at least a hundred Inferi and keep them under control..."

"Harry, you say the inferi disappeared as soon as the Aurors arrived. Can you please elaborate?" Severus questioned. "For instance, did they instantaneously pop away? Did they fade?"

"No," Harry replied. "It was more like they shrunk until they were so small we could no longer see them. We investigated the area thoroughly afterwards, even took soil samples to see if they were still in there, and we didn't find anything."

Severus' face turned even more pallid than usual.

"Bloody buggering bollocks!", he bellowed, then calmed himself. "Sorry. The Dark... Tom Riddle used to sometimes conjure Inferi by transfiguring dead insects into human-like shapes before animating them. Then all he needed to do when he was finished with them was – I assume - a finite in Parseltongue. But the regular _inferius_ curse will not work on non-human corpses. Riddle always used a Parseltongue spell to animate them. But he was not one to share his knowledge with his minions."

Ginny paled, then looked at Harry. "Is there any possibility you guys missed a Horcrux? If Tom made one after he learned that spell, it could be possessing someone..."

"I don't think so." Harry mused. "I saw into the mind of MouldyShorts when he discovered we were onto him. He went to check on each of them – and those were all destroyed."

"Could one have possessed someone before you destroyed it? A few months after the diary, I started having dreams of what I had done under Tom's control. It really scared me. I had to attend counselling sessions all throughout second year." Harry put his arm around her protectively.

Hermione's hand raced across her paper as the equations suddenly balanced, and projected themselves in a sphere around her.

"Extrapolating from the three previous occurrences, there are three possible locations for the next attack. Here they are in descending order of probability..." She scribbled the name of three towns on a new paper, then moved some runes in the air with a wave of her hand. "The calculations indicate that these attacks are most likely a cover for something even more nefarious, and there is an 86% chance it is somehow connected to the Ministry."

The four of them deliberated, until Harry and Hermione yelled out in unison.

"Umbridge!"


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione double-checked her copy of the colour-coded checklist she had created. Each member of their covert little group had one, and a change on one propagated to all the others.

_-Recruit at least 5 trustworthy Aurors or trainees to monitor Umbridge's residence (Harry). _Done.

-_Meet with the Auror Department and figure out how much they know, what they may suspect, and what they expect Severus to accomplish (Severus)._ Done.

_-Set up wards to inform us of all instances of transfiguration, dark magic and Parseltongue in all three cities. (Harry). _Done. Then undone as everything the local garden snakes blathered on to each other about appeared on the parchment, and redone specifying human speakers only.

_-Find out what issues Umbridge has been interested in, and any laws she has had any input in. (Hermione). _In progress.

-_Monitor results from the wards, and inform the others at any hint of genuine activity_ (Ginny). In progress.

_-Meet at Grimmauld Place, 6pm Thursday to compare notes and discuss options. _

She sighed, and followed her two fellow Magical Law Apprentices into the conference room, walking respectfully over to the head of the Rules and Regulations department. "Mr. Hickinbotham. Lovely to see you again. I am working on an extra-credit project regarding the correspondence between the length of delay in the ratification of new laws and average NEWT scores and was wondering if I could have a quick peek at the records for the past six months. For my research." Hermione extemporized.

"Of course, dear." The old man patted her on the head, and led her into his office. "Better be quick; the meeting is supposed to begin in five minutes. He pulled out a desk drawer and handed her a large tome. Hermione pretended to peruse it, then silently transfigured the doorstop into a Niffler, which proceeded to climb up the man's leg and reach for his gold cufflinks. As Mr. Hickinbotham let out a shout of alarm and vanished the creature, Hermione spelled a quick _geminio_ and stuffed the duplicate into her tiny beaded bag. She then pretended to jot a few numbers down in a notebook, and put the tome down. "All done, sir. Thank you very much!"

* * *

Hermione decided to floo straight to Severus' quarters rather than risk facing the other members of staff. "It's me. May I come through, please?"

Severus flicked his wand to remove the ward, and Hermione tumbled out.

"I got it!" She beamed at him

He took the large tome from her and started opening it, but she placed her and atop his own to stop him. "Wait. I think we have a few things to sort out first."

"Indeed." He replied silkily, reaching out and pushing a stray curl behind her ear. "I was rather..." He paused deliberately, "dissatisfied when our dinner engagement was rudely interrupted."

Hermione's heart raced, and she could feel her cheeks warm. "I must admit," she stated in true Gryffindor fashion, "...that the _Amatorium Claritas_ fiasco was only a pale imitation of what I am feeling right now. And if you don't kiss me I think I may go mad."

"Well, I do believe the Brains Behind the Golden Trio in a state of insanity would be a great blow to the entire Magical community. I suppose I must do my duty to ensure that does not come to pass." His voice was pitched seductively as he drew closer.

Hermione reached her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers. She giggled as it took a few tries to achieve the correct angle. Their noses bumped. He huffed, then tried again.

This time, the world again shrunk to include only them. While her soul sang in euphoria, her body dumped a parcel of hormones into her bloodstream, and before she had registered the fact she found herself on the couch entwined with him – his hand up her shirt and hers circling the buttons of his trousers.

Hermione, if we persist, I doubt I will be able to stop. And there is work to be done."

"There's always work to be done", she complained, panting, but stepped away from him. "But I truly hope this is only a temporary postponement."

"Most assuredly." He purred, reaching over for one last kiss, this time calculating the correct angle on the first try. He was a quick study. "You have sunk your claws into me, woman, and I will not willingly let you go."

She smiled and led him by the hand to the table. "Here." She handed him the book, as she pulled another from her bag. "They are basic geminio copies; they won't last more than a few hours."

They got to work.

* * *

Some time later, an alarm dinged, and the two made their way through the passage from his private quarters to the potions classroom. Ginny was already peeking in the door. "I'm here for my detention, sir." She winked. Severus cringed, hoping there were no witnesses to her abysmal attempt at subterfuge.

"Miss Weasley. You are early. No matter, there are plenty of toads for you to disembowel." Severus channelled his Death Eater persona as he slammed the door behind her, then led them back to his quarters where they could Floo to Grimmauld Place.

* * *

After bringing out the tea and snacks, Harry jumped straight in. "The wards went off without a hitch. Well, after I figured out how to exclude actual snakes from the Parseltongue monitor." He reddened a bit. "There are two Aurors and four trainees who are more loyal to me than the ministry, and have been doing surveillance on Umbridge. Cornelius Fudge and Asta Rowle have both visited her residence multiple times. George Weasley also wanted to, er, lend an ear. Literally." Harry pulled out a battered Extendable Ear, and tapped it with his wand. "Audi iterum", he incanted, as new voices filled the air.

"_Dolores, the Wizengamot is never going to agree unless we step up the attacks. You know this."_

_"Fine. I already have the next one planned. Just keep hassling them. Asta, how many of those wand crystals have you been able to get me?"_

An unfamiliar female voice replied._ "I have 63 so far. I am almost done miniaturizing them for you."_

_"I need more!" _Umbridge snarled_. "I need a total of 300 by the end of the week or you won't get your cut of the power."_

The voices grew muffled and Harry terminated the charm. "From what I can tell, Fudge is entirely under her thumb . I'm not sure if she's blackmailing or bribing him. This is the first I have ever heard of Asta Rowle..."

Severus interrupted. "Asta was Thorfinn's sister. Her magical ability was very weak. Their parents performed a number of dark rituals on her in order to increase her magic, but I doubt they were effective. She was not a Death Eater, but is very close to her brother, and he was incapacitated during the battle of Hogwarts and is now in Azkaban for life."

"What did you find in the records books?" Ginny asked Hermione.

"Well, two days after the first Inferi incident, Umbridge called for a law to put a trace on all adult wands to monitor all spells cast. This has been suggested before and was always shot down, but this time it was put to a vote. It was voted down, but not by much."

Hermione paused, rifling through her notes.

"The day after the second incident, Fudge proposed a 'Dark Net' to be placed over all Wizarding communities. This would render all spells powered by strong emotion ineffective within the net. Of course, that does include most dark spells, but would also affect defensive spells such as the Patronus charm."

The room was silent for a few minutes as everyone considered the information. Finally, Ginny broke the silence.

"Well, I have nothing useful to report, except that pretending to study for NEWTs is an excellent cover. I have _ten bloody pages_ of snakes talking about where the best warm spots are, three pages of day-to-day transfigurations, and one disgruntled witch who uses the imperius curse on her husband every evening. Pobably to get him to stay home and clean up after himself instead of drinking in the pub."

Hermione frowned. "What stops the Ministry from casting these same wards, and arresting the witch?"

It was Harry who responded. "The wards only keep count of the spells; they can't pinpoint the caster. "

Hermione sighed. "So, we have three major suspects but no real proof of wrongdoing. They are doing something with wand crystals, the Trace, and a dark Spell-Net. Rowle is almost a squib and may want to avenge her brother or break him out of prison. Fudge is just a boot-licker. Umbridge? She always did like to be in control of everything, and didn't care who she hurt to get there. "

"Umbridge mentioned Rowle's 'cut of the power'. So they're doing this for some sort of power..." Ginny remarked.

Severus sneered. "Yes, but what kind of power? Magical power? Political? Mechanical? Electrical? Charismatic? We still know nothing."

"I'm guessing magical" Hermione ignored the sarcasm and started pacing. "What other kind of power would a near-squib be willing to ally with Umbridge for? The real question is how the Trace, Dark Net and wand crystals could be used to provide them with this power."

Nobody had any answers.

"Look, I am exhausted and have early classes tomorrow. Let's all find out what we can, when we can, and meet up here on Saturday morning."

"Wait." Harry stopped her. "What did the Ministry want with you, Severus?"

"They know nothing. The imbeciles wanted me to teach the Aurors how to control Fiendfyre. "

"What did you say?"

I told them that if the perpetrators hadn't been caught within the next week, I would teach them a milder equivalent."

"And would you, really?" Harry looked curious, likely looking forward to such a lesson.

"Gods no. Saturday, then."

Severus took Hermione's hand, speaking softly into her ear. "And Saturday evening is mine, witch." She blushed, smiled, and flooed back to her dorm.

* * *

Ginny was just sitting down to dinner in the Great Hall the next day when she heard a bell chime from the pocket of her robes. Sighing, she extricated the parchment partway and gave it a quick glance. Suddenly she jumped, spilling pumpkin juice all over herself.

"Merlin's bloody hemmorhoids!" she burst out, jumping up from the table. She barely heard Professor McGonnagall's "That will be five points for language, Miss Weasley!" as she exited the room.

Ginny ducked into the first empty classroom she could find, and sent off her Patronus to the others. "Upper Marshpuddle. Parseltongue. Now." Then she activated her Portkey.

* * *

Severus apparated to the designated meeting point and found pandemonium. Ginny was holding a shield around them while Hermione cast a wide flame-throwing spell. He was just about to pitch in with Fiendfyre when Harry appeared, took a look around, and yelled "Finite!"

"That was English, you dunderhead!" Severus shouted at him.

"Quick, find me a snake. I need a snake." Harry panicked. Severus groaned, then rolled up his sleeve displaying the faded Dark Mark. Harry stared for a moment then started hissing, and the Inferi disappeared.

"Well, at least one theory has been confirmed." Hermione shuddered as she stepped over piles of incinerated insect corpses. Do you know if they entered the village? Were any people..."

She felt a stunner hit her back, and the world went black.

* * *

Hermione regained consciousness in a dimly lit, very pink room with her mouth gagged and her hands and feet tied securely to a bed post. Looking around, she saw Severus similarly restrained on the opposite side. She hoped Harry and Ginny had managed to escape.

Severus was looking at her intently, and she felt a gentle knocking at her Occlumency shields, which had become second nature during the war. She granted him entry.

"_Are you injured?"_

She shook her head, tuning out the petulant mewing of the insipid kittens decorating the walls.

_"Good. They gave us an overdose of dreamless sleep; I think we were both out for eighteen hours."_

Her eyes widened. No wonder she ached all over.

"_Can you reply using Legilimency?"_

Hermione shrugged. She knew the theory, but had never been given the opportunity to practise it.

_"Just calm your mind and reach out to mine. I have opened a link to you but you need to bridge the gap from your end."_

She nodded, and closed her eyes. Calm. She could handle this; she had faced far worse_. "Severus?"_ She reached out. No answer. She imagined shouting to him_. "Can you hear me?"_ Still nothing.

After her tenth attempt failed, she tried a different strategy and focused on Severus himself. On what he meant to her. On the way his mouth would curl up in that half-smile when he made his snarky remarks. On the way his lips felt on hers. How much she liked...

Oh, who was she kidding. She loved this man. Suddenly she felt a... presence... and reached out to it.

"Severus?"

Their minds pressed together. Hermione felt as if she were participating in a mental hug.

_"I will give that an Exceeds Expectations."_ Hermione arched an eyebrow at him, but could feel his affection for her.

_"How many of them are there? Did they sneak up on you as well? I can't imagine them being able to take you out otherwise..."_

_"Rowle was behind an invisibility cloak. She cast the Stunner and absconded with you via Portkey before I was able to react. "_ She felt his guilt at his lack of vigilance. "_I told Potter and Weasley to apparate away, and I let myself get captured. This might actually work to our favour - we have a better chance of bringing this entire scheme down if we are together on the inside."_

Hermione sent a blast of affection towards him, and his pupils dilated. _"Hermione... it may be best not to do that... at least not here in Umbridge's bedroom"_

_"Sorry. Did that hurt?" _Hermione couldn't help but feel a bit rejected.

Severus raised an eyebrow, then sent his own affection back at her.

Her body reacted with another dump or hormones. She blushed. "_Okay. Understood." _Then said more lightly_, "The decor is enough to quash anyone's libido." _A kitten hissed in the background.

_"Indeed. If I weren't gagged I might vomit. How is your wandless magic?"_

_"I can do basic spells. But the only spell I can manage both silently and wandlessly is aperibus."_

_"Why in Merlin's name would you want to open doors wordlessly and wandlessly? Surely there are more useful spells you could have concentrated your energy on."_

Hermione's embarrassment penetrated the link. It had actually been a mixture of utter boredom and a need to accomplish something during those excruciating months in a tent with very little hope. Harry and Hermione were attempting to explain Star Wars to Ron, and tried to come up with magical ways to imitate the Jedi powers. All three of them perfected the door-opening trick. Harry was strong enough to apply w_ingardium leviosa_ to imitate Force Levitation, and Hermione could manage it one time in ten. Ron wanted to learn the mind trick but that would have likely required a nonverbal _imperio._

She felt his amusement at that thought. _"At least the Dark Lord never attacked me with Force Lightning."_

Hermione's gag muffled her laugh. _"Baubillious Maxima produces a white version of it. We were unable to turn it blue, and it took too much power to attempt without focussing it through a wand. Harry liked to use it to light fires, purely for dramatic effect."_

Severus snorted at the image_. "I can perform accio and levicorpus. So if our wands are nearby, you can open the door and I can summon them. However, we have no way of holding them..._

_"How accurate is your accio? I had a knife down the back of my left boot and I don't think they found it. Could you summon it to cut your bindings without cutting yourself?"_

He concentrated for a moment, and her knife flew out of her boot to stab one of the copious kittens in the eye. It let out a yowl, causing the others to join in.

_"Not at all accurate, I surmise."_ She teased. _"Or was that deliberate?"_

_"Obviously. I didn't want to stab myself as I determined my accuracy."_

He concentrated again, and the knife flew towards him and stabbed the bedpost - right on top of the pink bindings holding his wrists.

At that moment, the door flew open, and Severus sent the knife out of sight as Dolores Umbridge walked in. The kittens suddenly went silent.

"Well well, who do we have here?" Her high pitched giggle sent an unpleasant shiver down Hermione's spine. "The traitor spy, and the mudblood bitch who sent me to the filthy Centaurs. What luck! Now tell me, why were you interfering with my Inferi? And where is the Potter brat? I know he was involved." She ripped off Hermione's gag.

"Harry is safe. You won't get to him." Hermione spat.

"Crucio!" Umbridge did not have the hatred nor the power of Bellatrix Lestrange, but Hermione still could not stop herself from screaming in agony. The noise attracted Rowle, who entered the room angrily. "Dolores, we don't have time for this. Just kill them. Fudge managed to convince the Wizengamot. The Trace is going into effect tonight, and the Nets tomorrow. I have the crystals here, but we need to link them as the Trace goes up. Tonight, we will be powerful, and tomorrow, unstoppable!"

"I need to know where their little friends are hiding. We don't know how much they know. And I want Potter. No one shall touch him but me, and his death will be... satisfying."

If the voice had not been so irritatingly high pitched, Severus could have sworn that last sentence had been uttered by Lord Voldemort himself.

"Fine. Leave them here. I'll send the idiot Fudge back to guard them, but we need to go, now.

Umbridge glared at them, then waddled out of the room behind her evil cohort.

* * *

_"If Rowle weren't a pureblood I would accuse her of watching too many movies. That speech made her sound like a Bond villain."_

_"Will you be alright?"_ Severus ignored her levity and concentrated on her pain_. "I have a potion back at Hogwarts that can help with Cruciatus aftershocks, but that doesn't help you now. We have to get out of here before they return."_

_"And then what? We need to stop them before they get too powerful."_

Severus deliberated. _"I assume they are linking wand crystals to each wand trace as it goes up, so that all spells cast with the wand divert any extra power to the crystal. But how do the Nets fit in?"_

Hermione thought it over_."Spell Nets don't prohibit the casting of spells, they just dampen the effects, right?"_

Severus nodded.

_"Well, normally, where does the magic go?"_

_"I assume it gets absorbed back into the atmosphere. But if it is cast by a wand linked to a remote wand crystal..."_

_"...then all the power that would normally go through the spell is absorbed by whomever is holding the crystals!"_ Hermione finished_. "Is there any way we can sabotage this? Perhaps reverse the magic flow?"_

_"It's not precisely a directional transfer. A better analogy would be entropy causing the energy to dissipate, taking the path of least resistance. _

_"What if we overloaded it somehow? We know the crystals are designed as a capacitor for magical energy – what would happen if some other form of energy was directed at them?"_

Severus frowned. _"Electricity?"_

_"Sure."_ Hermione replied_. "The crystals are attuned to the wands, and set to absorb everything the wands don't use. What would happen if someone were to electrocute a linked wand?"_

Severus' grin looked feral. _"I can't be sure, but I do believe your hypothesis is worth taking to the clinical trial stage. At the very least it will be the distraction we need."_ He spent a minute sending Hermione's knife into controlled stabs before freeing his hands, then tackled the remainder of their bonds.

"_Ready to gain the upper hand?"_ He smirked at her.

_"Always."_ She grinned back. _"On three. One... Two..."_

She opened all the doors in the general vicinity, while he sent a strong targeted Accio towards their wands. A minute later the two wands flew through the door, followed by a panting Cornelius Fudge. "What the devil?"

Two stunners brought him down simultaneously, Severus twitched his wand again and ropes twined around Fudge's body. Hermione quickly sent out her Patronus. "Harry, we are fine. Umbridge and Rowle are at the Ministry linking crystals to the traced wands. We have a plan. Check the parchment."

* * *

Ginny frowned at the message Hermione had written on the linked checklists.

'Get as many adults as possible together. Teach them Force Lightning Spell. When I write NOW below this message, have them perform it on each other's wands simultaneously.'

"Force lightning?" Ginny asked.

Harry blushed. "I'll tell you later. Let's get started. You contact the Order and Hogwarts staff. I'll get some Aurors and other friends. We'll all meet in the Hogwarts Room of Requirement." He turned on the spot and disapparated.

* * *

Dolores Umbridge felt the power already thrumming through the crystals she wore around her neck. And this was only the beginning! "Lumos", she incanted, and power drained from them as her wand emitted a blinding light.

"Merlin's Man-Tits, Dolores. Stop fucking around." Asta snarled, shielding her eyes as she entered the house. "Cornelius, you imbecile. Wake up!"

Cornelius Fudge jerked awake from his position on the sofa. He looked a bit dazed.

"If the prisoners have escaped through your carelessness, I will imperio you to geld yourself."

He blanched. Asta had a vicious streak. "No, no, nothing happened. I just dozed off a minute ago..."

They entered the bedroom where the traitor and bitch were apparently asleep in very uncomfortable positions . Dolores giggled. She had been anticipating revenge on the Granger chit for years. "Hem Hem," she sang. "I know the best way to wake up filthy mudbloods. Cruc..."

As she was talking, three things happened.

Hermione's wand slipped into her suddenly free hand, and she flicked it at the parchment that was partly hidden under the bed.

Severus cast the strongest shield charm he could muster around the bed.

And Umbridge, Rowle and Fudge exploded in a torrent of electricity.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, They finally kissed! And I apologize for the initial awkwardness, but I don't see either Severus or Hermione as being all that experienced at seduction. This writing gig is not at all what I expected – somehow I had envisioned having god-like powers over the characters and plot. In reality, I am simply a vessel through whom the characters assert themselves . Again, thank you to all you wonderful reviewers, followers, etc! One more chapter to go.**


	4. Chapter 4

Harry Potter, Hero of the Wizarding World, laughed maniacally as he shot lightning through his fingertips at a pile of wands in the Room of Requirement. The crowd surrounding him watched in confusion. After a deplorable attempt at instructing the others in the spell – Ron had run in circles with his hair on fire, while Neville's shirt had burnt away entirely - Harry had improvised a new plan and simply gathered all the wands to deal with them himself. Grimacing, he realized he would now have to confess to his friends just how much time he had spent practicing that spell in private. He was feeling his magical core falter a bit when a raven patronus flew up to him and proclaimed in Snape's voice that he could stop now.

Legs shaky, he sat down on the floor, watching as the raven flew off. Well, that was a good sign. Harry had honestly found the thought of the doe a bit disturbing, and it was nice that Hermione would not have to compete with a long dead woman.

"Blimey, Harry." Ron ran up to him, head glistening under the soot. "I thought that one required a wand."

"Very impressive, Mr. Potter. Was that a modification of _Baubillious? _And wandlessly as well. Magnificent!" Filius Flitwick gushed in admiration.

"Hey, you promised it wouldn't be damaged. My wand is all black!" Cho Chang complained.

Ginny had managed to contact a large portion of Dumbledore's Army – those who had held on to their Galleons – and had asked all the staff and of-age seventh years to join them. They had arrived hoping for some excitement or a fight, and were rather irritated to have to donate their wands to the large pile, especially when Harry could not explain the reason. "Hermione told me to" seemed a poor excuse.

At that point Hermione's otter bounced up to him. "We're at the entrance to the Ministry. We have the perpetrators."

"Alright everyone," Harry cast an amplifying charm on his voice. "Thank you all for coming to help us out. We have successfully detained the people responsible for the Inferi attacks, and are going to turn them in now." He shrugged when half the group followed him out. It never hurt to have plenty of backup.

* * *

Severus was supporting most of Hermione's weight as she shook from a Cruciatus aftershock, and cursed the anti-apparition wards at Hogwarts that were likely responsible for this intolerable wait. He hated having to rely on others.

"I still think you should have ended that Patronus message with 'Nevermore!'." Hermione smiled weakly.

"And I maintain that Potter would only be confused by the reference. The boy is not nearly well-read enough. And the new form was a ... shock."

Hermione squeezed his hand, still shaking.

When the telltale crack of Apparition finally sounded, he suppressed a sigh of relief. He was a bit surprised to see at least thirty witches and wizards approach behind Potter.

"Potter ... Harry." Severus blinked as he recognized the bald wizard walking in between Potter and Ginny as the male Weasley sidekick. "Weasley. Weasley. "He nodded.

"Umbridge, Rowle and Fudge are tied up by the entrance. They may or may not be brain-dead. I restarted their hearts – I figured you may want to interrogate them. Here are the miniaturized wand crystals from around their necks. They are linked to the wand traces that were put in place earlier today. All excess energy from spells cast on or by any wands linked in this way gets siphoned into the wand crystals. The holders can tap into this power to amplify their own spells. You need to get the Trace abolished, and stop the plan for the Spell Nets. But now I need to get Hermione to Hogwarts. "

Harry's eyes moved over to Hermione, who was still shaking weakly. "What happened?"

"Cruciatus."

Harry blanched, then put his hand on the dour man's arm. "Go. Take care of her... Severus. We'll trade details later."

Severus gave a curt nod and apparated away, still cradling Hermione in his arms. Harry turned to the charred figures by the door.

* * *

Hermione surfaced from her haze of pain as strong warm hands caressed her face and encouraged her to swallow. She gasped.

"Gods that is foul. What did you just give me, frog bile?"

"Among other things."

She sighed in relief as her pain eased. "Is it bad of me to hope Umbridge is either dead or suffering? I was really looking forward to Saturday night, and she ruined it."

"Technically, it is_ still_ Saturday night."

"True, but I'm in no shape to be ravished. I feel like I could sleep for a week."

"Come to bed, then, witch." He leered. She giggled and followed, and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Hermione grasped her way into consciousnes. _"Severus?"_ Her voice was not working yet, but she heard the mental reply. _"In the next room."_ She opened her eyes to find herself alone. So the Legilimency link was still active. Well, that could be fun to experiment with. Padding out of the bedroom, she found Severus in his sitting room, staring at the fire. She sat down and caressed his hand.

"I don't think I can do this." He croaked. Hermione's heart plummeted down to rest somewhere below her knees. "I have no instinct for it, and all my references are contradictory. I don't ever want to let you go, but it is most likely better to do so now than to drag you through the mess I am indubitably going to make of this."

Hermione's panic had receded a bit. "What exactly don't you think you can do?" She asked gently.

"I cannot fathom where to go next. I haven't a clue whether I should be giving you flowers or chocolate or cooking you meals or simply arranging coital appointments. "He gestured to an eclectic assortment of books on his table, ranging from lurid romance novels to weighty anthropological texts. "Do I kill a wild beast? Serenade your dorm at night? I don't even know if I'm supposed to declare my love for you now or string you along to keep your interest." At this, Hermione cut off his speech with a kiss.

"Okay." She said as she pulled away. "Here is what will happen. We will need some rules."

She held up one finger.

"First, I am a Gryffindor by nature. I like honesty, directness, and full disclosure. So I will tell you now that I love you too." Severus remained silent, but his eyes were wide as he looked at her, and they shone with hope and relief.

"Second, I would be happy to control the pace. If I want something from you, or with you, I will ask. I expect you to do the same, whether it is for ..." - she could not bring her mouth to form the words 'coital appointments' - "... a shag, a date, help with your marking , a picnic, an heir, a cuddle, a wedding, or input on your research. Yes, No, and maybe later are all valid responses."

"Third, if I am unhappy with anything, I will tell you. I expect you to do the same. No distancing yourself, no making unilateral decisions, no going along with things because you think I want you to then resorting to passive-aggressive ways to hint at your displeasure. Am I clear?"

"As crystal, my bossy wench. Though I must question your sanity if you suspect I might ever just go along without complaint if I was not in agreement."

"Please. You went along with Dumbledore's misguided manipulations for years."

"Touché."

"Now, I feel fully recovered. That potion is a wonder! May I respectfully request that we declare our love again in a more romantic fashion, perhaps back in the bedroom?"

"Yes, dear", he replied, leading her by the hand.

* * *

The next time Hermione awoke, it was with a feel of great satisfaction and a warm body cuddled next to hers. So far she had found two very useful applications for the mind link, and decided she never wanted to let it go.

Harry gestured for his guests to sit. "Lemon drop?" He offered.

Hermione looked at him aghast, while Ginny popped one in her mouth. Severus just peered at them.

"If you procured these dreadful confections from the Headmaster's office, I feel obliged to apprise you that Albus infused them with calming draught and euphoria elixir. It made it far easier to subdue – and Legilimize - his prey."

Ginny spat discreetly into a handkerchief.

"No wonder Minerva was so keen to pass them on. And there I was thinking she simply wanted to give me a memento. Why did you keep them in the office?"

"Alecto Carrow had a sweet tooth. They curbed her sadistic tendencies temporarily. Unfortunately they had the opposite effect on her brother, so I couldn't just tell the elves to dose the food. Those two would eat off each other's plates."

Ginny shuddered.

"As much as I would love to hear more fascinating trivia about the Carrow twins and their semi-incestuous relationship, perhaps we should move on to the reason we're here?" Hermione interjected.

Harry sat down again after placing the candies in a hideous urn on the highest shelf. "Umbridge was dead. Turns out she was a bit greedy and had the majority of the crystals around her own neck. Rowle is still in a coma. She'll be in the high security ward at St. Mungo's until she wakes up, at which point she'll join her brother in Azkaban for life. Fudge was fine. We gave him Veritaserum. Turns out he was embezzling funds when he was Minister. Umbridge was in on it, but turned on him and blackmailed him with it to get him to cooperate. He's been given ten years in Azkaban."

Hermione just sighed. "I'm not sorry the pink toad is dead, but it would have been useful to find out what else she had been doing for the past few years. I'm still not sure how she wriggled out of incarceration after everything she instigated while Riddle was in charge of the Ministry. I wonder whether any of him had transferred to her from the locket, or if she just used some of his memories."

"Whatever it was, she's dead now. She was a nasty piece of work even before she got hold of the locket. But if any new evil maniacs turn up, I'll know where to come to. You and Severus make a good team."

"Yes, we do, don't we." Hermione smiled.

* * *

Epilogue: One hundred and nineteen years later.

"Be forewarned; the horde is arriving en masse!" Severus smirked as Vivian's playful platypus Patronus waddled out of the room, making rude noises as it went. That's what he got for sharing a grand-daughter with George Weasley. Even at sixty eight, she was a favourite of the great and great-great grandchildren with her off-colour and juvenile sense of humour.

Severus was ostensibly retired; although he would still occasionally consult on potions creation, his hands were not quite agile enough for actual brewing anymore. Hermione had been able to control her own work hours for decades and could accept as many or as few Arithmancy contracts as she desired.

Hermione had proposed to Severus after two years and they married in a simple handfasting ceremony with only Rita Skeeter as witness - from her jar on the shelf. Hermione spent her last years at Magical University commuting via Floo from their cottage, then graduated with full honours and took the Arithmancy world by storm while Severus established his potions consulting business.

Severus, to Hermione's surprise, was the one to suggest possibly extending their family ten years later, and Hermione was happy to comply. Thrice.

Severus had once been alone, the last of the Prince line. Now, he was related through marriage to Potters, Weasleys, Malfoys, and multiple Muggle families. He still grumbled about it a bit, but Hermione knew, deep down, that he loved being part of such an... extensive... extended family

"Great-Gram! Guess what! I got my Hogwarts letter yesterday!" Hermione turned from her gardening to see Jasmine and Ivy Potter running towards her, as a large crowd followed more sedately behind. "I can't wait to see what house I'll be in. Ivy wishes she was Hufflepuff instead of Gryffindor, but that's just 'cause Professor Lupin is the Head of House, and she wants to marry him. Which is silly. Kids don't marry professors!"

"Is that Andre Lupin, the metamorphmagus and Transfiguration Professor?"

Jasmine nodded, and Ivy blushed.

"Well, he is a very talented and handsome lad. You could do far worse. And anything is possible. After all, I married my own Potions Professor."

"Really?" Ivy's curiosity overcame her embarrassment. "Grandpa Sev was your teacher? How did you manage that?"

At the same time, Jasmine burst out "Is Grampa Sev older than you then? I mean, you're both so ancient..." Hermione wished she could record that somewhat un-diplomatic comment and send it back in time for her own long-deceased parents to hear. Her mind automatically started the calculations that such a task would require, but she put a stop to it. She had guests.

"Well," Hermione reminisced, "It all started with a potions accident..."

* * *

FIN


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